I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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