I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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