I just made out with a guy for $7.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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