And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize