Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
