This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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