but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
