well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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