you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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