and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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