I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
