i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
