I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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