is your mom at the bar?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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