He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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