hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
