Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
