question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
