OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
