she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
