why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize
