I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
