he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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