she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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