he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't think brook has ever known best
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
