Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
