You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
