Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
