Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
