At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
BRING THE BAGELS
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
