I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
