he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
