just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
