Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
