Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
