Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
