I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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