I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it's like iHOP with fire
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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