You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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