I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
