You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
