Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
