come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize