Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
