i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
