If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Alive.
So much puke
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
