Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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