Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
