They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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