I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
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doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
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U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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