I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
