where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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