Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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