He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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