i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
