just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
