this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
