fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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