What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
