You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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