If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
