I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
