not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.