Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?