Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The uberlube is also flammable
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I deserve this hangover.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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