youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
