So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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