i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
